Tears

Tonight I am thinking of tears....as my eyes well up.....and I am afraid to cry for fear I will not stop. I have tears of saddness, tears of happiness, tears of dreams gone another way....tears of missing my loved ones...tears of homelessness and things totally out of my control....tears of family relationships that hurt....tears of being away from my family and friends at this time of year when we are to celebrate our families....and I know if I focused on all of this I would end up a despressed mess! So I look to the family of God and seek comfort. And the world too....how may are in the missionary field away from family and friends, how many are in harms way not knowing if they will return? God has redefined family for me - not discounting my natural family but giving me family where ever I am that loves on me and I can love on them. I am learning to be family with those that I don't even speak their language.....or see them more than once a week. He fills the void and it is awesome but I still miss my biological family and family I marrried into....My heart is very conflicted as to what to do....but I know as I seek my Lord he will show me. I always have to tell myself it is not all about me and what I want....but it is about my brother, my sister, and those who do not know Christ. Many times that brings sacrifice that many do not understand - and I get some awkward conversations...and probably cause some hurts to others which I hate....but my goal is to love God with all my heart and to love in such a way that others will come to know him and receive eternal life. And I cry...I cry for those that don't know Christ....in my family, in my neighbohood, in my daily walk in life. Nothing to me could be more valuable than to not know Christ.....so I will cry I guess over missed family events and not being all I can to my natural family so that I can reach out to those who have never had a family or have never know Christ. A sacrifice.....one that is not easy but what I feel God wants me to do. I hope if anyone that knows me reads this they will know that I love them with all my heart and soul even when I am not there when the wish or think I should be. My precious daddy made me think about this when he asks me what my life is all about. For me my life is all about people knowing Christ and if that means I am not the they expect or I can't be at all the family events that I would love to be at...or that to them I am just a crazy "religious" person then I guess I am. My greatest hope is to see people get saved - Know Jesus - learn to love on one another - even outside of "family" and to have great joy in doing so. In my mindset we are ALL family...God created us all family....so when we have our "problems" we need to work through them ...and yes it takes time....but a piece of paper that severs things does not make us less family.....the bible talks too much about love for us to take the love out of brokenness...but that is a blog for another time! This comes from a gal that has been through a lot of brokenness

Thanksgiving 08

Hard to believe my third Thanksgiving in NC! Time flies! Will be heading to the Mission for the Gobbles to Go and also to serve the residents and emergency shelter folks....I always start the day thinking I am giving the blessing only to be reminded of how blessed I am and leave filled up not only with turkey but gratitude and love!

"Friend"ly reminder

Just informed by a dear friend that my blog is somewhat outdated!! Glad someone takes a look!!

One of Today's Life Lessons!

Thought I would visit a new church today - so started out on my way - no map and no directions - after all I had seen this church many times on my journey through the city....well....guess what - I could not find the church!!! At first very frustrated but then in a soft whisper in my spirit I heard the Lord speak - how much do I approach life in this way?!?#* Interesting.....